Thursday, August 30, 2007

That Blank Page Before Me...

Just now I had a meeting with my boss at work. We recently had a re-org in our department and I now report to him (Yey!). He's one of my favorite managers as I used to directly report to him some years back. I think I've always been a better and inspired PDE (Product Dev't Engr) when I was reporting to him.

The coming months through next year, we would be supporting 2 high-end cellphone/PDA processors/chips which have totally different architecture as the previous products we've had. He told me that I might be doing some Design Eng'g work rotation but not sure. I got really excited, at least this is something totally different from what I've been doing for the past several years.

I also talked to him about my plans of going back to school to pursue my love for 3d animation :o) I asked him to align me to work on something that I could contribute to the success of our team but at the same time be considerate that I would go back to school full time. Of course he's ok with it! Thank goodness.

Next year is going to be such a crazy crazy year for me. With all these things going on at work plus school, there is NO WAY we can even go for vacation :o( We've been planning to go to Europe fall of next year but I guess that wouldn't happen- not at least for the next 1.5 years I'd be in school. Priorities, priorities, priorities....

I'm totally scared of what's coming up. With all these major career opportunities ahead, I wonder when could we ever have a chance to think or plan to build a family. Hmmm.

I thought about that this morning actually. I got up a bit late than usual and I didn't get to walk our 4 legged kids. I felt soOOoo bad about it :o( Then I had to rush to prep hubby's lunch & dinner since he goes to school during Tues & Thurs after work so he gotta bring food with him or else he wouldn't have time to grab something to eat in between. At the same time I was thinking of things I gotta do at work and where I left off with the animation book I've been reading the past several weeks. Crazy huh? Imagine what would it be like if we get to have kids??????!!!!!! GOODNESS!!!!!!

So do I really want to have kids? Maybe. I know hubby wanted to have one or two but not now. Well, when it comes it comes. Yeah, he can say that because he's not the one who's going to get pregnant. Shoot, but then again, what if the time comes and we're both ready and it's already too late to have a baby? Hmmmm. I'm ok with it though, I mean, not having a kid. I really am, seriously.

Naaaahhhh.... I wouldn't want to think about all these today.... things are complicated enough for me to digest - flipping through that blank page before me is kinda nerve-wracking! Now I'm getting hungry... time to go back home and eat something from there... and make some time with the "kids".



bonita said...

hello berns! =) i've been asking myself the same questions for the past few months. i've always thought that i'd have kids of my own someday - when i get maried. and now that i am married - i'm unsure as to whether i really want to have one. i'm at a point in my life where i find my job really challenging & interesting and i'd want to advance in it - but i know that if we decide to have kids now, we would have to change our work / lifestyle. it's a tough decision noh? :) oh well, i guess we just need time to sort things out... =D happy weekend!

Anonymous said...

I have few friends who posponed having a kid.. when they are ready.. they found out that they can't :( The younger you are the more capable u r to have a baby.. so anyway..kanya kanya choice yan :)

Cupie Bernskie said...

hi there fritz!! i absolutely feel the same thing! it's really tough especially for us career women. one or the other has to be sacrificed. moreso, it's not like in the phils where we can have trusted yayas or relatives who can help us take care of the kids, right? haaay.... time would tell and i always believe that in God's time, if it's really meant for us to have kids, we'll accept it with open hearts and mind :o) siguro by that time, we wouldn't be as scared, haha!

tc girl!!

Cupie Bernskie said...

hi ms amore! thanks for swinging by! actually, that's one of my fears as well like if we have to wait and by the time we're ready for it, we can't. but we've been praying hard that to guide us talga that if He thinks it's the right time for us, so be it, haha. if not naman, we're also ok.... waaaay than ok :o)

tc! hope you're enjoying the long weekend!


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